It doesn't matter how well Daniel Jackson plays tonight. He's still unlikely to win any Richmond fans over. Source: Getty Images
WILL a player drop dead from jumper asphyxiation? Will Chris Judd be a shadow of his former self? We predict tonight's big stories.
1 - Richmond supporters light a membership card bonfire
The eternal optimism that Tigers fans bring to Round 1 every year never ceases to amaze us.
That's despite Richmond losing its last nine games against Carlton, including every season-opener since 2007, so don't be surprised to see fans looking for the nearest flame to torch their plastic.
Carlton's current winning streak against the yellow and black is its longest since they went 24 games without dropping one between 1908 and 1917.
2 - Same Mick, different shirt
The moustached one will be extra prickly tonight, with the Carlton faithful expecting the earth but the coach not necessarily having the greatest list at his disposal.
It might not be the best night for a young journo to chance his arm with a curly one in the press conference.
Then again, maybe Mick will just lose the plot again and talk about bread...
Jake King might be too big for his own good this year. Picture: Michael Klein Source: Herald Sun
3 - Medical emergency due to overly tight jumper
At some point this year a player is going to lose circulation to their brain after going one size too small in the jumper department.
From what we've seen, St Kilda are the biggest "spray-on" offenders, but there's a little man at Punt Rd who might just trump them and pass out if he flexes a bicep a little too vigourously at any point against Carlton.
If Jake "the push-up" King has been doing the kind of reps we know he can in the off-season, there's every chance he might never get out of the jumper he puts on tonight.
4 - SuperCoaches bemoaning their Cotchin/Deledio decision
Can you squeeze both Trent Cotchin and Brett Deledio into your squad?
Unlikely, with Deledio no longer a backline option. So who do you pick?
Cotchin will probably have Andrew Carrazzo going Siamese on him for large chunks of the game, which could spell trouble for the Tigers captain.
With the Blues also having to think about Dustin Martin and Reece Conca, not to mention Shane Tuck, Deledio may once again be left to do as he likes.
Better go with Brett.
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5 - Traffic armageddon
There's rain around today, which means average motorists become mobile road blocks as they slow down by 30km/h, halve that speed again if there are tram tracks and generally freak out for no apparent reason.
With tomorrow's public holiday making tonight effectively a Friday, expect to see traffic gridlock around the 'G from now until about May.
You'd suggest taking public transport would be a better bet, but with the temperature straying outside of the 22C-24C window at which Melbourne's system can run without going into meltdown, you might be better to dust off your bike.
6 - Action Jackson to be a hated man
Daniel Jackson is the man Richmond fans love to hate.
It's hard to understand why a bloke who sees himself as a bit of an intellectual doesn't endear himself to the rabid crew behind the Tigers' goals, but for some reason he (and let's not forget Tyrone Vickery) cops most of the wrath from the stands.
Maybe it's the red hair.
Maybe it's his disposal efficiency that usually hovers somewhere around mid-60 per cent.
Maybe it's his two suspensions last year, one of which was for striking Chris Knights, who is now his teammate.
Either way, Jackson (pictured, top) could have 35 disposals and kick five goals and he'd still find manure in his locker on Monday morning.
Carlton fans will be hoping Levi Casboult will be the missing link up forward tonight. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
7 - Excuses about Carlton's game plan
We've heard Malthouse making a rod for his own back all pre-season, talking about needing more time to implement Carlton's new style.
But will Blues fans buy what the boss is selling?
Geelong revamped their game plan in 2011 under new coach Chris Scott and won a premiership.
Yes, their list was superior to Carlton's, but the shift to a kicking game from the Cats' handball-heavy style was the cornerstone of their third flag in five years.
Other coaches to turn their team around in quick time ... try Sydney's premiership-winning second year under John Longmire?
Cometh the man. Cometh the mullet. Picture: Michael Klein Source: Herald Sun
8 - More of Maric's mullet
Surely that thing is alive.
The Richmond big man had a breakout season in 2012, while carrying the ruck duties almost solo for the entire year.
But was he alone?
The marsupial growing on the hulking Tiger's head must surely be ready to spring forth and don a jumper of its own.
Expect the running bouffant battle between Maric and Taylor Walker to continue deep into September.
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9 - Nothing to look forward to
Anyone else noticed there's been a surprising lack of the usual bleating about a footy-free Good Friday?
Thankfully the NRL and the A-League have scant respect for the sanctity of religious holidays.
Tomorrow night we'll settle in with fish 'n' chips and turn our attention to the white ball to see the Storm take on the Broncos up north, and the round ball as Newcastle take on Western Sydney.
Probably the only time all year that the AFL will lose the cross-code battle - though Channel 7 will be doing some solid work with the Good Friday Appeal - but it's still an annual sporting downer.
This could be the year that former Blues captain Chris Judd finally crashes back to earth. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
10 - A shadow of the former Judd?
Just three quarters of pre-season action, diminishing pace and a battery of quick opponents set to come at him.
Tonight could be the beginning of a tough year for former Blues captain Chris Judd, and SuperCoach boffins agree.
Just 3.6 per cent of SuperCoaches have Judd in their team this year - a far cry from years gone by when he'd be a walk-up start in most squads and an almost guaranteed 100+ points each week.